turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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