I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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