let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize