I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
