I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
