Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
