I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life