I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory