can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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