I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
