Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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