About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize