im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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