I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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