All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
