I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
