I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
