he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
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