And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
