Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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