Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
