Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
