I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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