Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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