so that wasnt chicken after all
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize