Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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