VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
