I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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