am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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