Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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