And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
