Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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