what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
