I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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