If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.