oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
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i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
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She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for