Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
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Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
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just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.