i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.