Texts From Last Night

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  (+61): View more from Australia

  She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.

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  (+61): She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me. http://tfl.nu/qxca
  Replies (27) Good night (6167) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.

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  (732): i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds. http://tfl.nu/8f3d
  Replies (8) Good night (5621) Bad night (1259)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good

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  (609): just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good http://tfl.nu/q5pn
  Replies (15) Good night (1354) Bad night (5013)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.

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  (304): She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth. http://tfl.nu/p490
  Replies (30) Good night (5529) Bad night (1381)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.

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  (607): Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later. http://tfl.nu/om4f
  Replies (27) Good night (4669) Bad night (1458)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.

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  (773): I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger. http://tfl.nu/s2b5
  Replies (5) Good night (2686) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show

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  (856): and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show http://tfl.nu/o1xq
  Replies (4) Good night (3060) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.

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  (541): i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts. http://tfl.nu/e6qn
  Replies (5) Good night (2133) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?

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  (479): Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace? http://tfl.nu/xfzk
  Replies (2) Good night (1396) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up

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  (312): I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up http://tfl.nu/9x7s
  Replies (2) Good night (1410) Bad night (1073)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight

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  (816): the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight http://tfl.nu/st8j
  Replies (3) Good night (1691) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.

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  (210): Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married. http://tfl.nu/tr6n
  Replies (13) Good night (988) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.

  (231): View more from Michigan

  He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up

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  (231): That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him. (231): He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up http://tfl.nu/uzdn
  Replies (3) Good night (684) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.

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  (573): I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs. http://tfl.nu/e7oe
  Replies (5) Good night (769) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Umm

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  No idea. I blame fireball.

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Valid.

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  (412): Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway. (1-412): Umm (412): No idea. I blame fireball. (1-412): Valid. http://tfl.nu/n14x
  Replies (1) Good night (577) Bad night (310)

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