Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
