Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
