And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!