Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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