Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
