just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
