Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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