hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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