Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
it's like iHOP with fire
Come see our sink grown plant.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
