Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
