Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize