We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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