lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
