Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
