Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize