so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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