i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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