Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
