We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
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It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
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I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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