Sponge bath it is.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
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Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
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I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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