it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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