drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
