good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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