I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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