Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
