If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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