I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
please don't ironically join a cult
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
