So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Of course I have a pirate flag
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
