Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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