Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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