remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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