FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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