Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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